Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
