Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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