you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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