herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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