Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
We need a shit load of segways right now
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
