it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
