I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
