im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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