too bad you live with your parents still
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
