Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
