1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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