how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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