I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
