i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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