i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
