Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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