is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
