he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
