I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
