I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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