I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
