I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
