You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
