just come out here and I will go home with you...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize