my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize