Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
