Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
