My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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