he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize