its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
