she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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