I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
