you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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