Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
