White coat. Heels.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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