nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize