Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
