I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Less talking, more tequila
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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