listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
