My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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