his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
