I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
