I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
