My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
