I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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