You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
