he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
When are your genitals available?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
