happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
