Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
