WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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