I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Randomize
