Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
