If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
