the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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