after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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