Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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