When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
