I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
