Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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