How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize