I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize