Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
