a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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