I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
