What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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