is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
